Jamaican At Heart

Buying Property in Jamaica; What to Expect

Jamerican — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 20:31:50 +0000

For many years, our dream has been to own a home in Jamaica. I have to admit that we were woefully unprepared for the process. After three years and numerous rough days, we’ve finally done it. If you’ve ever considered buying property in Jamaica, here are the basics to consider. Buying our house in Jamaica was one of the most frustrating and, yet, most fulfilling things my husband, Rob, and I have ever done as a couple. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, ranging from pure bliss to blinding rage. Yeah, it can be that good and that bad. Miscommunications, delay after delay, and some crazy demands plagued our adventure. So, check in for a psych evaluation before you even begin. Your relationships, finances and mental status need to be in top-notch shape to tackle the monster we call “Buying a home in Jamaica.” Our desire to buy in Jamaica and potentially spend our retirement years here started 6 years ago. We came to Jamaica on vacation and fell in love with it. There were many factors involved. My health improved dramatically, to the point that I felt “like my old self.” The warmth of the Jamaican people drew us in. The slow-paced, more agrarian lifestyle took us back to our childhoods and soothed our frazzled nerves. Maybe I’m just that sort of person who falls in love at first sight. I knew from the moment I met my husband, Robin, that I was going to marry him. And I did, three months later. At “my age,” I’ve experienced life. I’ve traveled all over the world. Obviously, I’ve defined exactly what matters to me and what I refuse to put up with. You could easily say that I know what I want. I fell in love with Jamaica in this same manner. The difference between us and most people who think about retirement in the Caribbean is that we tried from the beginning to focus on the ways it COULD work. Many people express the desire to do what we are doing but, when questioned, they come up with every excuse as to why buying property in Jamaica couldn’t work for them. We chose to say, “Why not? How can we make this happen?” Moving away from friends and family, leaving steady jobs and careers and settling down in a third world country is not “the norm.” So, right from the get-go, it’s important to realize that only certain personality types will be successful in the transition. Who are these people and what makes them equipped to handle life in Jamaica? Let’s take a look at them. I’ve noticed that the majority of my retired expat friends here fall into one of two categories. Many people who decide that buying a house, or building one, in Jamaica is a viable option are very quiet, contemplative types. They enjoy the peace and quiet and a rather reclusive lifestyle. This isn’t to say that don’t get out and enjoy Jamaica, but they do it along the edges. You won’t see them at street parties or large gatherings. The other group, the one I’ll admit that I belong to, I lovingly call the “social misfit club.” We can enjoy the quiet but we also love to interact and learn new ways of thinking, almost to the point of being anti-establishment. We like to live life “our way,” and most of us have been doing that our entire lives. Few of us have been entirely comfortable living within the conventional social norms. We are the women who never truly fit the Susie Homemaker roll, even though we enjoyed it. They are the men who never found great comfort in the 9 to 5 world, preferring to do their own thing and be their own boss. Most people feel free in Jamaica to “let their freak flags fly,” so to speak. Here, we can allow ourselves to, once again, be the thinkers, the artists, and the free spirits that we were born to be. For many of us, starting a life in Jamaica is like emerging from a deep coma. We didn’t realize we had been asleep until the awakening began and we saw…ourselves, someone we thought had been killed off long ago, buried under mountains of laundry and business suits. Eventually, we learn to breathe again. Our minds relax and learn to be in the moment. Time is no longer our enemy because it almost doesn’t exist here. Like the days of old, life starts at daylight and settles down when darkness falls. Jamaicans cannot be rushed, so life slows down to an easy pace. The people whom I find don’t make it here also fall into two basic categories. The first are people who need luxury and comfort. After buying a house in Jamaica, they basically want the culture here to speed up and meet their expectations…those formed while living in fast paced, industrialized countries. These folks want service NOW. They can’t wait in long lines. Going without water, electricity or internet is tantamount to the stone ages in their minds. The other folks that usually pack it up and move back home are the people who rush in without a realistic plan. They come on vacation and stay in all-inclusive resorts. Deciding they “love Jamaica,” they decide to start looking for a home to buy. They continue to stay in high end hotels on their house hunting trips, never really getting their hands dirty with “real Jamaican life.” Because they usually have resources, they build or purchase a lovely home, only to find out that the town water only runs three days a week. They laugh about the first power failure or two but start getting angry about no AC by the third one. The poor roads, general lack of services and interminable lines in government offices, banks and doctor offices drive them over the edge. Discovering the brand-new refrigerator doesn’t keep food cold, they call in a “repairman.” When he finally shows up a week later, they realize that he has only the most basic knowledge and is of no use, even though they still have to pay him. The store they bought it from says it’s not their fault and refuse to cover it. The steady stream of flat tires from the pothole filled roads becomes a nightmare. The neighborhood bar that springs up in the neighbor’s yard begins playing LOUD music until late into the night and steals their sleep. The final straw snaps when goats wander into their yard, decimating the landscaping. Within hours, bags are packed, flights are booked and a realtor is called in to sell their “dream home.” To say that it’s necessary to be “flexible” when buying a home in Jamaica and then actually living here is the understatement of the century. You must add to that list being humble, forgiving, non-controlling and yet self-controlled. Things will transpire here that will test your metal in ways you never saw coming. Rumors will fly, people will rip you off, and others may try to cause you emotional harm. It helps to arrive with skin tough enough to take insults. Yet, a heart soft enough to understand the plight of many of your new friends and neighbors comes in handy, too. So, all of that said, if you are still thinking that life in Jamaica, or even owning a home in Jamaica, might be a good fit for you, keep reading. If not, thanks so much for playing along! I’d like to preface the following information by saying that I’d HIGHLY recommend finding a long-term rental in the area you think you might like BEFORE you begin searching. Spend as much time as possible in that area before taking the dive. It takes time to see the true flavor of a town or parish. The atmosphere in one parish will vary greatly from another. It’s much easier to give up a rental than it is to sell a house in what turns out to be a troublesome spot. There are also other advantages that I’ll get into later. Put a lot of thought into whether the lifestyle, attitudes and Jamaican culture really suit you. You can read about our experiences here and here. Learn from our mistakes and save yourself a few gray hairs! Let’s look at the technical side of buying property in Jamaica: 1. Find a property While this may seem simplistic, it can be a rather convoluted process. Most people these days start the search online. The larger real estate companies have well-developed websites. They give you the opportunity to sample the market in many parishes around the island. Many times, because Jamaica runs on “connections,” it ends up being a Jamaican friend or neighbor that leads you to the property that is the best fit. This is partly because they know you and can often discern what you’d like better than a total stranger. It’s also because, obviously, Jamaicans know who is thinking about selling property in their area long before it goes on the market. This is one of the big advantages of renting first and getting to know people before you purchase. 2. Both parties need a lawyer This can be tricky. Just as everywhere else, not every lawyer is created equally. You want a lawyer who is truly looking out for your best interests and seriously wants the sale to go through in a timely fashion. I got lucky as the realtor I had worked with recommended an amazing lawyer. The lawyers handle writing up the offer. They are responsible for checking that the property has a clear title. All funds are distributed through their offices. Even paying the involved taxes and other fees are handled that way. A good attorney will work efficiently, instead of leaving paperwork sitting on their desks for ages, slowing an already slow process down even more. The fact that many attorneys here will take their sweet time amazes me. They don’t get paid until the sale is completely over. One would think they’d be anxious to get their money. 3. Make your offer Once you’ve come to a verbal agreement with the seller, run it all by your lawyer and then have the offer written up. He can give you advice as to the viability of the purchase, deal with issues like graves being on the property (very common and rather problematic these days) as well as protect you from crazy things a seller may suggest to a desperate buyer. I actually took an extra step at this point. We had the property surveyed AND had it evaluated (appraised) BEFORE we even made an offer. Many pieces of land are shown with boundaries that are not official. Grandma cut off a piece of land that reached from the old almond tree to the big pile of rocks, if you get my drift. In our case, we felt pretty comfortable with the price of the house because I’ve spent six months of the each of the last three years in this community. We had a good grasp on current value. But the evaluation and survey gave us peace of mind, knowing exactly what we were getting and that we weren’t overpaying. Our seller (called a “vendor” in Jamaica) actually had an official copy of her title but we still had it searched to make sure there were no liens or other interests against it. Again, the lawyer did this for us. 4. Make the down payment and pay your share of the duty tax. Once the offer is accepted and both parties have signed, it is considered legally binding. This is when a down payment, usually 10% to 20%, is sent to the lawyer. It’s also when your lawyer pays your half of the duty tax. The seller also pays half. At this point, you would need to prove that you have the funds to purchase the property or begin the...

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Is Life in Jamaica an Affordable Retirement Option for Expats?

Jamerican — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 03:28:55 +0000

Ever since I began my journey down the rabbit trail into “real Jamaica,” I’ve had Jamaicans telling me that it’s SOOOO expensive to live here. Then I run into expats who tell me that they can easily afford to live here on pensions when compared to life “back home.” Among the “old timers,” both older Jamaicans and foreigners who made the transition many years ago, the cost of living seems to get mixed reviews. I am often asked, “Is life in Jamaica affordable,” so let’s look at actual prices of everyday household items. When I was visiting as a tourist, I felt like many aspects of life were very expensive. Consider, please, the taxi ride I took from our resort in Negril to the pharmacy “downtown” (about a 2 miles away) on our very first trip to Jamaica. The driver, arranged by the resort, my first mistake, charged us $20 US PER PERSON. Ha ha. What an idiot I was. That same ride, had I hailed a local cab five steps from the front door, wouldn’t have cost us $5. I just didn’t know. Most towns have established “route taxis.” These are drivers who are (mostly) licensed, insured and inspected. They choose two towns to drive between and spend the entire day going back and forth. Their goal is to jam as many passengers as possible into each trip. Even if the car only has seats for five people, you can bet there will be seven body’s crammed in before he hits the road. Typical town-to-town fare is about $250 to $300 J ($1.90 to $2.30 US.) You can tell the licensed drivers by the red license plate on the car. Going out to eat in a tourist town can drain a wallet quickly, as well. Mixed drinks, typically in the $6 to $9 range, along with a nice meal, $12 to $30 per main dish, can leave a party of two with heavy bill, especially considering most people eat two or three times a day. Perhaps I’m just a cheapskate, but I can’t help but compare these meals to the cost of preparing them at home. Of course, you can choose to drink at home or in your hotel room, purchasing fruit juices, rum, and soda at the store, but then you miss out on the culture that surrounds these local watering holes. I don’t generally drink alcohol, especially not when I’m traveling alone. My solution to enjoy the atmosphere has been to stop in and play dominos with the Jamaicans. I get all of the local “news” that way, too. After that initial trip, I always booked a room with a refrigerator so I could go to the local fruit stands and supermarkets to purchase what we needed for snacks, drinks, etc. I was often traveling with three or four teenagers, so cereal and sandwiches could help keep costs down. I also learned quickly to bring my own peanut butter. A staple in our home, the tiniest container here could easily go for $4 or $5 US. While many things purchased in the stores in Jamaica are considerably less than those offered in the restaurants and tourist shops, many were still pricey. For example, a bottle of soda in the restaurants could be $2.50 or more, plus taxes and a service charge. In the tourist area grocery store, it might be $1.00. In the US, I pay about 35 cents. Yes, this same thing happens in other countries, but my point is that “eating out” is not often a cheap alternative here. That said, a solo traveler, as I so often am, should try to find a truly Jamaican “cook shop.” There, we can get a chicken dinner, complete with a generous portion of rice and peas and usually a side of vegetables or pasta salad (never understood the double portion of starch) for $500 J to $700 J (currently $3.83 to $5.35 US). Who is going to heat up the kitchen, clean up pots and pans, and do a bunch of shopping for less than $3.83? Not me…until I get sick of jerk chicken with rice and peas! When it comes to the cost of living in a small town in Jamaica like Treasure Beach, I think the wisest thing I’ve been told is that it’s expensive if you “eat like an American.” Americans tend to have plates that are heavy on proteins. Meat, especially beef, is expensive and comes in cuts that we’ve typically never encountered. Old school Jamaican families tend to have plates that are heavy on starches. Rice, yam, pumpkin, bread fruit and even Irish potato are usually the dominant feature at meal time. Meat is not served in heavy portions. Dumplings, tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers round out the meal. On my last trip to the “big city” of Black River (okay, its only two short streets wide) I picked up a few items. Now, don’t judge me. I’m not in my own home at the moment and am not doing a lot of cooking. But I saved my receipt so I could give you a few hard prices. (I’m going to convert them to current US exchange rates.) Liquid hand soap, 16oz…$1.65 Horribly thin, useless paper towels…$.95 (Bounty was about $2.50/roll) Wheat crackers, 4oz…$.54 (I like them with my peanut butter.) Bumble bee white tuna in water, 3.5oz…$1.05 Diet Pepsi, 20oz…$.56 (Woohoo! At least my one vice is cheap here!) Hunts chunky vegetable spaghetti sauce, 24oz…$2.26 (These are usually $.99 at home.) Kraft grated Parmesan cheese, 3oz…$2.40 Hopefully, you’ll have a decent farmers market in or at least near the town you might settle in. This can be an effective strategy to save money, and help to make life affordable in Jamaica if you are careful and shop around. For example; I was trying to purchase oranges and was quoted prices of $600 J for a dozen at the first few stands I approached. In the end, I found them for $400 J. I usually try to go to the farmers whose spaces aren’t easily visible from the street. They tend to be most desperate to sell and give better pricing. Establishing a relationship with “your farmer” can go a long way towards getting better pricing and the best produce. Smiles and kindness are great social lubricants. As far as groceries and domestic supplies go, it’s sort of hit or miss. Some things cost more than back home and others are less. Of course, virtually EVERYTHING is imported and so anything brand name is expensive. The big bottle of Tide detergent I pay $12 for at home is nearly $30 here. No, I don’t buy it. Windex or 409? Forget it. You’ll have to sell a kidney to afford it. I have to admit that it’s taken me many years to stop laughing when I get my grocery bill. There’s something hysterical to the American mind about paying $4,000 to $6,000 for groceries. Of course, thats only about $30 to $45 US, but it cracked me up for a long time. Something I’ve really struggled with in Jamaica is that even brand name items taste or perform differently here. I opened that can of Hunts spaghetti sauce last night and could barely choke it down. It tasted like metal. The last time I bought a Snickers bar, desperate for a pick-me-up, it was so disappointing. It didn’t hit me as being old or stale. It seemed like a totally different recipe. The same thing is true for my beloved Diet Pepsi. It can border on the the flavor of pencil lead at times. I’ve now noticed that some name brand products actually say “for export” on them. Aunt Jemima Syrup, Betty Crocker cake mixes, and many others have this export label. That should tell us something, eh? (I can tell I’ve been hanging out with a lot of Canadians because I often end my sentences with “eh?”) If you are a processed food consumer, it will be very expensive to live here. Cereal, lunch meats, cheeses, butter, yogurt and the like are astronomical. Doritos, Lays Potato Chips and Oreo cookies, if you can find any, are $5 to $6 for the same size bag that we might pay $2.50 to $3.25 in the States. A loaf of bread is about $2.50 and a box of UHT milk is the same, although it was closer to $4 up in Negril. A 20oz bottle of water is about $.75 and a liter bottle is about $1.50. Butter was close to $6/pound the last time I bought any. I felt like I was spreading gold on my toast. But enough about food. Let’s tackle the other necessities of life, like linens, table wear, pots and pans. All of these items ARE available at affordable prices in the small town shops but they are usually imported from China and are very poorly made. I’m sure that a trip to Kingston or Montego Bay could render some better options, but it costs about $150 to hire a driver and make that trip. Is it worth it? I’ve spent the last three years bringing down thick towels, high count bedsheets, a quality mattress pad, bedspreads, pillows and even curtains. Kitchenware like mixers, toasters, and coffee makers never seem to last for long if purchased here, so I’ve transported those, too. My biggest investments have been in well made tools, a weed whacker, and items that were just small enough to pack in a suitcase, but pushed my weight allowances. (Note: if you choose to bring tools, lamps, TV’s or other larger items down, make CERTAIN to bring receipts with you.) That $100 smoothie blender might be valued (and taxed) at $250 if you are forced to declare it and can’t prove how much you paid for it. Keep your “personal items” (pans, blenders, etc) UNDER $500 in value so you can get through customs unscathed. Name brand shampoos, cosmetics and over the counter medicines are best purchased abroad. The same goes for clothing, especially panties, shoes (even flip flops) and, most importantly, sunblock! Unless you like lycra, you’ll be out of luck for dresses. Footwear is usually plastic that kills feet and won’t last long. I’ve seen bottles of spray-on sunblock sell for nearly $24 dollars. What??? As for the items we all hope to enjoy in abundance while living in Jamaica, like melons, bananas, pineapples and mangos, you have to be street-wise. Pay attention to what the Jamaicans are paying and gently insist on the same pricing. I call out tricky sales people by smiling and saying, “What? Are you charging me tourist prices? Mi live er and mi nuh rich!” I present myself as joking around but I usually get the price lowered. One thing that I love about living in a small town like Treasure Beach is that you could just about procure whatever you need without ever leaving your yard. Vans drive around town and stop at my gate with fruit, veggies, and, sometimes, fish. We have an egg man, a plastic container man and, recently, we’ve even had a plumbing supply man! Guys have come around selling clothing, bedding plants and a few times I’ve seen whicker furniture! I guess it’s necessary in a country where so few people own cars. The bottom line is that everyone who asks themselves “Is life in Jamaica affordable?” has choices to make as well as different budgets. We each have items we are willing to pay a premium for and other things that are easily pushed aside. The cost of food, clothing and entertainment can break the bank or be totally manageable. It all boils down to your priorities. In future installments, I’ll go into detail about the cost of housing, land taxes, utilities and automobiles. In the mean time, you can read more about Expat Life in Jamaica here to find out more about my Jamaica experiences. Or perhaps you’d like to know more about fitting into Jamaican...

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4 Superfoods in Jamaica That Just Might Improve Your Health

Jamerican — Fri, 22 Jun 2018 23:40:16 +0000

When it comes to our health, we all want to do our best. Could that dictate time in Jamaica, indulging in delicious fresh fruits that qualify as “superfoods?” Maybe it should. These fruits are vitamin and mineral loaded gems. They may just be what the doctor ordered…or should order, if he wasn’t so intent on peddling drugs. What qualifies them as superfoods? This is what my research has unearthed. Before we get going, let’s define what makes a food a superfood. A superfood is basically any food that contains an extremely dense level of vital nutrients, vitamins and/or minerals, as well as antioxidants. They also include “good” fats, healthy enzymes or other healthy properties that enhance health, treat illness and lower the risk of or prevent certain diseases. I think the majority of us have heard of and enjoyed mangos, papayas and guavas. Most of the more “exotic” fruits we have access to, especially in the cold Northeast USA, are obviously imported. While they are good in a pinch, coming to Jamaica and seeing them hanging from the trees in my own yard is an experience like none other. In fact, Jamaica has been great for my health in many ways, which you can read about in my post, Jamaica: For Your Health. Getting up in the morning, wandering through the dewy grass in my jammies and spying the first ripe mango of the season? It’s like winning the lottery combined with finding treasure. Fresh from-the-tree mangos, still warm from the sun, drip with juice that runs all the way down to my elbows. Strings in my teeth? Totally worth it. That’s what they make dental floss for, right? Yes, mangos are delicious but are they a superfood? Research has shown that mangos can prevent and even stop certain colon and breast cancer cells in lab studies. They also showed a bit of impact on lung, leukemia, and prostate cancers. The breast and colon cancer cells underwent “apoptosis,” or programmed cell death, but the cancer killing properties in the mango, called “polyphenolics,” did not harm normal cells. Imagine being treated for cancer with something that didn’t kill anything except the evil cancer cells. No hair-loss, nausea or any of the multitude of chemotherapy side effects would be amazing, wouldn’t it? And, before you flip out, no, I’m not saying mangos cure cancer. What I AM saying is that people ARE researching more natural ways to kill cancer cells and there are foods that fall into that category. If you can give your body one more tool to help keep you healthy, why not use it? Did I need more reasons to eat mangos? No. I love them. Like, I really LOVE them. My stays in Jamaica are scheduled in such a way that I am guaranteed to get mangos. In fact, no matter where I go, if the country grows mangos, I hunt them down. If I can get one, I’m happy…a bucket-full? I’m ecstatic. How do you pick a good mango…if you aren’t blessed to have them growing in your yard? Most grocery stores around the world sell mangos, in season or not. When choosing your mango, judge it more by the firmness of the fruit rather than the color. If you push gently and it feels mushy, it’s too ripe. Hard means it’s not ready yet. When it has just a little give under your finger, and a sweet, fruity aroma on the end where the stem grows, it’s perfect. If you buy your mango a little less than ripe, keep it at room temperature until it’s ready. Do not refrigerate or it will not sweeten as it softens. Need to ripen it faster? Place it in a paper bag for a few days, checking it at regular intervals for perfection. I really stink at catching store-bought fruit at peak once I get it home. I’ve thrown away so many over-ripened mangos, as well as avocados, over the years. I’m trying to recapture the flavors I experience at home in Jamaica. Just keep a close eye on them and you’ll be fine. Once they are ripe, they will keep in the refrigerator for about a week. Not eating your ripened mangos fast enough, or just not in the mood? First, have your head examined. Then, you can peel and chop them, bag them up and freeze them for up to six months. This is how I enjoy Jamaica when I’m there outside of mango season. You can cook with them, use them in smoothies, make jams or even thaw them out and eat them as they are. One of the most alien-like fruits that makes the superfoods list is the under appreciated, ugly soursop. Never heard of soursop? It’s an odd-looking green, spiny fruit. Had I never been introduced to it by a dear Jamaican lady, Miss June, I might not have ever even picked one up, let alone tasted it. In my mind, it looks like it’s related to one of the nastiest tasting fruits I’ve ever tried, the Noni. That alone nearly scared me off. The flavor is hard to describe, somewhere between pineapple and pear, with maybe a hint of citrus. Equally impossible to explain is the texture. Again, it makes me think of a fibrous version of pear but very white and almost frothy. Like many tropical fruits, the soursop has very large seeds. They are encased in little jackets. It took me a while to figure out how to most effectively remove it from the skin. It doesn’t really peel nor can it be scooped out easily without tearing the skin when ripe. And popping out the seeds destroys the flesh and loses too much of the precious juice. To use the pulp of the soursop without having to squeeze every single seed out of their casing, I had to come up with a way. In the end, I discovered that if I cut across the fruit in 1/2 inch pieces I end up opening many of those pesky seed pods and the seeds easily slide out. Then, laying the slices flat on the cutting board, I can hold the knife vertically and cut the outer skin away. Choosing a soursop in the market is pretty simple. Choose fruits with dark green skin with numerous pliable spines on the surface. Avoid fruits with bruises or blemishes on the skin. Like the mango, don’t buy a rock-hard or a mushy soursop. Feeling just the slightest give under finger pressure is just right. When the tips of the spines break off easily, the fruit is just right! Storing soursop is simple, too. Store the under ripe fruit at room temperature. Once the fruit is ready, store it in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Be warned, it goes from perfect to gross very quickly so use it up or freeze it. I love to keep some in the fridge all of the time to toss into smoothies. Light and refreshing, it also makes fabulous sorbet. The pulp can also be frozen, well wrapped, for up to a year and still maintain its nutritional value. Why does soursop rate as a superfood? Soursop is abundant in folate, niacin, thiamine, vitamin C, calcium, magnesium, potassium, and fiber. This tasty fruit is used in holistic medicine to treat an upset stomach, coughs, asthmatic symptoms, skin conditions, gout, fever and as a mild, natural sedative. The leaves, fruit and seeds have been used for centuries in Asian and South American medicine. Said to have anti-viral, anti-inflammatory and anti-parasitic properties, it is high in acetogenins, a compound in the fruit with incredible chemo-therapeutic properties. The claim that it can treat cancer causes great controversy. The leaves and seeds of the soursop tree also contain potentially poisonous compounds like anonaine, hydrocyanic acid, and muricine. One would be wise to consult a doctor before using it this way, especially if pregnant. Striving to have great looking skin? Try the guava! 8 ounces of guava has nearly 5 times the vitamin C, important in collagen production, as a medium-sized orange. Research has shown that women who eat a lot of vitamin C-packed foods have fewer wrinkles than women who don’t. Sign me up! Guava is also said to protect against food-borne pathogens such as Listeria and Staph, according to research by microbiologists in Bangladesh. If you are frequenting “questionable” food sources in your travels, this might be an important fruit to add to your diet. But does this rank the guava as a superfood? A studies by scientists have found that the little guava has as much antioxidant activity as some well-known superfoods like blueberries and broccoli. We all know how important that is to our overall health and well-being. The bonus is, there are tons of ways to enjoy a guava (and they taste better than broccoli.) How do you find a great guava? Just follow your nose. The first time I walked through my yard in Jamaica, I was drawn in by an unfamiliar, citrus type aroma. A ripe guava has a flowery fragrance, gives a bit to the touch, and has a thin, pale green to light yellowish rind. I like mine very yellow. The flavor is a sweet and sour experience. Guava can actually be eaten at just about any point in its maturation but I prefer mine when they have just begun to soften. This makes it tricky to harvest them because they tend to fall off of the tree exactly upon ripening. The bugs love them, too and we fight over each one! The skin is similar to the thickness of a pear. The flesh is pink or white. You can either eat the entire guava or cut it in half, scoop out the seeds and then the flesh. The small, black seeds, although considered edible, are like eating tiny rocks They can really wreck a smoothie, sorbet or other treat. It can be very hard to get every single one out without sacrificing the flesh. For this reason, I usually stick to devouring them whole and swallowing quickly before the seeds get lodged in my teeth. One cup of sliced guava provides 9 grams of dietary fiber, nearly twice the amount of fiber in a bowl of bran cereal. That’s a LOT of fiber from a fruit that is only slightly larger than a golf ball. The seeds of the guava, especially when swallowed whole, are great for those suffering from constipation. A guava has a vitamin A content that is five times that of an orange. It also has stellar amounts of protein, potassium, fiber, and folate, and possibly more vitamin C than any other fruit. Talk about an action-packed superfood! Do you have digestive issues like gas, bloating, nausea or diarrhea? People often assume that because I gave birth to ten children I must’ve had easy pregnancies, but that is far from the truth. I used to “get sick” until I was too big to bend over. Papaya, fresh and dried, helped calm my stomach and saved me from becoming dehydrated or malnourished. Most fruits and vegetables contain few digestive enzymes with the exception of papaya. Not only are papaya rich in vitamin A, vitamin C, potassium and phosphorous, they also contain a unique protein digesting enzyme that is capable of digesting 200 times its own weight in protein. These enzymes help improve digestion in amazing ways. Ripe papaya is also a beneficial source of antioxidant vitamin C, vitamin E and carotenoids like beta-carotene and lycopene. The high levels of these valuable nutrients can help protect your skin against free radicals known to cause damage that leads to wrinkles and other visible signs of aging. The enzyme, papain, in the flesh and skin of papaya fruit actually breaks down dead skin cells and helps promote skin renewal when used topically on the face or body. Skip the expensive chemical facials and use papaya next time! How do you choose and use a papaya? The soft, orange, juicy flesh of a properly...

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Expat Life: Starting Over in Treasure Beach, Jamaica

Jamerican — Sat, 02 Jun 2018 03:41:31 +0000

I fell in love with Jamaica at first sight. The laid back people, the bright flowers (in the middle of my own dark winter season), and the sudden relief of my joint pain captured my attention and imagination. But how does a woman from Shawnee, Oklahoma end up as an expat, living in Treasure Beach, Jamaica? This is how starting over began for me. At the time of my first trip to Jamaica, I owned a goat farm and was a professional goat cheese maker. I had just started developing a “market” for my “useless” goat offspring (males…hey, they don’t give milk) among Africans and Jamaicans that live in my area. I saw goats roaming everywhere in Jamaica and was curious as to how I could manage mine to make them more attractive to my market base. We flew home a few days later, with tears in my eyes, having this odd ache in my heart. It was as if I was leaving someone I loved behind. Once I was back home in the snow and freezing temperatures, I immediately started emailing Jamaican agricultural officials. I told them that I wanted to learn more about their meat goats. My real goal to know about them as Jamaicans. For a long time, I was ignored but I kept writing to every official looking email I could find. Eventually, I was hooked up with a woman who was a livestock officer for RADA (their Dept of Ag.) We began having frequent conversations. She asked if I would be interested in coming to Jamaica to teach goat cheese production to local women. This class was held in the Treasure Beach Women’s Center…in the town I now call “home.” Did this happen by chance? I think not. Fast forward a few years. By this time, I had become close friends with this RADA officer. In fact, I became the God mother to her son. I visited every six weeks or so, staying in her little home, learning new aspects about life in Jamaica each time. It was always in my mind that I’d like to live in Jamaica, but the questions were “How?” and “When?” In January of 2014, I took my 15-year-old daughter and her 15-year-old friend to Negril, on the Northwest Coast of Jamaica, for a week-long vacation. Staying in a mid-ranged resort, we were enjoying the sun, beaches and the water, but decided to try something new. On Wednesday morning we headed out for a little adventure. Having seen men walking horses up and down the beach, we decided to try it out. The driver picked us up, set us up with our rag-tag horses and three questionable looking guides. My gut said to tell the guy to forget it but he already had our money (a rookie mistake) so we headed out. As it turned out, my gut was right. Within a short time, I found myself in an ambulance, and then a hospital…with a broken back. Yeah. Worst. Nightmare. Of. My. Life. I won’t go into the details here but I will say that I soon discovered that I have severe osteoporosis. This only served to heighten my desire to escape the icy, slippery New Hampshire winters. It also put my horseback riding days, once a serious pleasure for me, on permanent hold. When I had more or less recovered, my trips to Jamaica picked up again, albeit at a much slower pace. I still felt great relief from the joint pain due to my rheumatoid arthritis, but my back couldn’t handle the flights or the bumpy car rides. Depression began to set in. Often, I sat at home, trapped inside during the icy months, killing myself trying to manage my goats and the cheese making. I broke two ribs despite my careful lifestyle, once, just from leaning all of my weight on the edge of my cheese vat as I made cheese! It became obvious that things had to change. During one of my visits to Treasure Beach, a friend took me to see a house that was going up for rent. It was owned by a mutual friend. Although it needed work, my friend spoke to the mutual friend on my behalf after I left. With his rental approval, I hatched the plan for my first “winter in Jamaica.” The youngest of my 10 children (yes, I said 10) was having a rough time in school and asked to be homeschooled the next year, her sophomore year. Having homeschooled my older five children, this was old-hat to me. Arrangements were made over the summer, books were purchased and we started planning our trip. Then, I found out that the “mutual friend” had rented his house to someone else. Oops. I put a call out on social media, asking if anyone knew ANYBODY who would rent a house in Treasure Beach for the season at “local people” prices, not “tourist rates.” Although Treasure Beach isn’t a tourist hot spot like Negril, it has a strong appeal to non-touristy-tourists. Long-term prices were way out of my range. A man I knew only through social media messaged me the name and number of his elderly aunt-in-law, Miss Julie, whom he thought might be interested. Now living in Florida, she had health issues and rarely made it down to her house in Treasure Beach. When I called, Julie was lovely on the phone and we hit it right off. I mentioned to her that my 16-year-old daughter, Melody, and I were going to be in Jamaica in September to look at rental options before we returned in January for the winter months. She insisted that we come stay at her home and offered to come down and show us around. You can read all about my discoveries on that first visit in my post Welcome To Jamaica. It was quite an introduction to small town life in Jamaica. Julie is related to virtually everyone in Treasure Beach. If she isn’t related to them, she helped raise them or is intimately connected somehow. Her gate should have been a revolving one, as a path was beaten to her door daily. By the end of that short stay, Julie and I both knew that I belonged in her house and arrangements were made for that to happen. In the beginning of the following January, my daughter and I flew down to begin making Jamaica a new “home.” Wandering around town with a gorgeous, blonde 16-year-old girl by my side certainly made introductions easy. Everywhere we went, young men greeted us and wanted to show us around, a fact that freaked Melody out at first, as she wasn’t used to such intense attention. As time went by, we sorted out the good guys from the creepers and got into our own social circles. By the time we headed back to the States in March, Treasure Beach felt like home. With each stay since, relationships have deepened. I’m still in the transitional stage between “official expat” and “visitor” legally, as it is quite a long process to get permanent residency paperwork filed and approved. My Jamaican friends tease that I’m as much, if not more, “Jamaican” at this point than they are. While I don’t know about that, I do know that I love this place. When I’m away from Jamaica, I feel like a part of me is missing. The only way I can describe my life in Treasure Beach is that it’s like living on the set of “Cheers,” where everybody knows my name. Far from perfect (remind me to tell you about the people who threatened to poison my dogs), it IS perfect for me. I can’t wait until the day that I’ve sold my house in the States and can go to Jamaica “for good.” Until then, I’ll have to stick to the 90 day-at-a-time, 180 per year rules that tie my hands. If you could pack up and go anywhere, where would you go and why? Tell me about it in the comments. Please join our email newsletter list now so we can keep in touch upon occasion and for special tips and stories. We won’t bug you or fill your inbox with junk. Thanks so much! If you liked this post, please share it to your facebook, twitter or Pinterest account. Hit the Pinterest button and check out the hidden pins!

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Do All Jamaicans Smoke Marijuana?

Jamerican — Fri, 25 May 2018 04:20:36 +0000

Visions of sunny beaches, the blue-green sea, palm trees and gorgeous sunsets come to mind for many of us when we think of Jamaica. For some, the first images are those of pot-smoking men on the street corners. Believing that “all” Jamaicans smoke marijuana, potential visitors are either turned off or even more intrigued. It begs the question, “Do all Jamaicans smoke marijuana?” Lets look into that… Granted, marijuana use, also called “weed,” “smoke,” “ganja” and a myriad of other names in Jamaica, is widely VISIBLE to even the most casual observer. A tourist will barely step foot on the beach before he is given the chance to buy it. While not technically “legal” in Jamaica, marijuana was “decriminalized” in 2015. What does this mean? Well, you are allowed to carry up to a 2 oz pack of weed safely. I’m told that because it’s still not legal, in theory, you could be charged with possession but it won’t go on your record. Okay. That’s confusing. The reality is, if you are sitting quietly on your verandah smoking a spliff and the cops walk by, they will likely tip their hats, say hello and be on their way. Nobody is going to bother with small-time users, Jamaican or tourist. This works out pretty nicely for those wishing to partake because, in the tourist areas, every other vendor who approaches them will be offering “smokes.” For some foreigners, being able to freely enjoy a “blunt” is part of what draws them to Jamaica, both those deciding to live there and those going just for vacations. Finding that it relaxes them, they say it enhances the laid back atmosphere that they hope to enjoy while they recover from life in the rat-race. Still others, those with life threatening illnesses and painful injuries or conditions, flock to the island in search of “therapeutic herbal treatment.” This doesn’t necessarily mean they are getting medical grade marijuana but they are willing to take what they can get, simply looking for healing and relief. Okay, so thus far, we’ve looked at why foreigners smoke pot in Jamaica. What about Jamaicans? Are they all pot heads? Do they lay around, high, without a care in the world? Is ganja use at the heart of the poverty issue in Jamaica? Where does weed use come from and just how prevalent is it? You’d be surprised. Those living with cancer often find great relief from their nausea and pain when smoking or ingesting quality MMJ. There are also a number of studies that suggest that elements within MMJ suppress the growth of cancer cells. Hey, it’s worth a try, right? Take my friend, David, for example. Told in 2008 that he had terminal liver cancer, he sold out and moved to Jamaica in 2009. You’ll note, I speak of him in the present term as “my friend” because we only met last year. The point being, it’s been 10 years since his diagnoses and yet he’s still alive. In fact, I never even knew he was “sick” until I interviewed him for a future blog post. No conversation about ganja usage in Jamaica would be complete without visiting the cultural usage it among those in the Rastafarian movement. Marijuana use in Jamaica actually predates the Rastafarian movement, having been brought to Jamaica by West Indians who replaced the slaves as the workforce. However, since the beginning of the Rastafarian in the 1930’s, it has been considered sacred. It is also referred to as simply “herb” or “the wisdom weed.” Pointing to Genesis 3:18 “Thou shalt eat the herb of the field,” and Exodus 10:12 “Eat every herb of the land” as confirmation as to the sacred roots. Based on these beliefs, the use of marijuana, or “ganja” as the Rasta’s tend to call it, plays an important role in their religious ceremonies. Surprisingly, and against what would seem obvious, my true Rasta friend, Carver, tells me they do not believe in the use of ganja to become “high” or as an escape. Instead, they believe that it lowers ones concerns about the cares of life that are not important. This allows him to can focus on the more spiritual aspects of life. I did some research on marijuana use around the world, figuring that Jamaica had to be in the top 10 countries for “per capita” use. Note: Per capita is a term used to equalize countries despite their size. It looks at the percentage of a population, NOT the actual numbers of people. If they didn’t make the adjustment, large countries would always be at the top.) Nope, Jamaica was not number one…or even number two. Guess who rates as number one? USA? England? Canada? Holland? Wrong again. The country with the highest (pun intended…couldn’t resist) marijuana usage rate per capita is ICELAND. Yes, Iceland. Wha??? According to a recent assessment done by the UNODC or the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime task force, Iceland has a per capita marijuana usage rate of 18.%. (Keep reading before you book your ticket to Iceland!) This is despite the fact that, in Iceland, cannabis in any form is illegal; possession, cultivation, transportation or sales can result in jail time and/or heavy fines. That kinds takes the fun away, doesn’t it? (Turn off your booking app now and read on…) Who tops the list for per capita usage of marijuana? Jamaica doesn’t even make the TOP TEN!!! Myth busted, huh? Jamaica comes in at #22! The funny part is that many Jamaicans are so proud of their pot smoking “image.” When I read the comments on the articles that I researched for this post, Jamaicans were commenting to say the study HAS to be wrong. They insisted that Jamaica MUST be number 1. Ha ha. Seriously, though, while the smokers may be very visible compared to the non-smokers, the study showed that less than 10% of Jamaicans smoke pot. I know. It make me question the stats, too, but as they say, numbers don’t lie…but maybe Jamaicans do! There is a strongly held belief that the lax laws regarding marijuana in Jamaica help to boost the tourist trade. Lord knows, the Jamaican economy needs any “draw” it come up with to bring more money into the country. So, if anything, marijuana sales should help boost the economy, not cause poverty. If you build it, they will come, right? It would make sense that the government of Jamaica would get out in front of this movement. They should be working towards licensing medical marijuana growers and dispensaries. This is the point where I usually slap my forehead in disbelief at how the Jamaican government mismanages opportunities for growth. Good news! They have proved me WRONG! A number of farms have now been licensed to grow medical marijuana (MMJ) through the Cannabis Licensing Authority of Jamaica. TImeless Herbal Care has a full-fledged business set up in Kingston to meet your MMJ needs. This is seen as a trend that will only grow over time. If only 10% of the Jamaican population smokes weed, why does it hold such a prominent position in Jamaican culture? Is this just an illusion? A big part of that surrounds the life of Bob Marley, arguably the most famous musician Jamaica ever had. His “love, peace and harmony” image was usually augmented with liberal doses of weed smoking. Seen as a cultural icon, Marley is seen as an image to model oneself after. Additionally, there ARE a lot of people in Jamaica who are either smoking, selling or both in the areas that most visitors find themselves. That 10% of the smoking population congregates in the resort towns. Especially now that the stigma of possible arrest has been played down, it’s extremely easy to find a variety of marijuana products. Wine? Edibles? Oils? It’s all there. Having witness a high percentage of Jamaicans who seem to suffer with untreated ADHA, mental illness and uncontrolled pain, I’d guess that a lot of people are self-medicating with marijuana. They may not even think of it as treatment, but they know they think more clearly and get more done while “high.” Contrary to popular belief, many users report feeling that they can think more clearly and can organize their thoughts while smoking. A word of caution: Be very careful when purchasing any of the above items. Just like elsewhere, there is always the risk of ending up with a product that has been tainted or laced with something else. More likely, you will end up with lousy “bush weed,” or all of the junk that Jamaicans don’t want to smoke. This is why the advent of MMJ farmer and dispensaries is such a fabulous business idea. Selling only high quality, regulated, clean weed, overseen by a doctor and a certified “Buds-man,” at least you will be guaranteed to get a safe product. So, in the end, the answer is clearly that NO, Jamaicans don’t ALL smoke ganja, not even close. Even if the stats of the study are way off and 20% of the population smokes, that’s still a long way from 100%! So, those of you Jamaicans who are reading this and feel upset that the world looks at Jamaica as a “Pot Stop” on their travels, take heart. It might just be the marijuana business that puts Jamaica on the map for all of the “right” reasons, too. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Feel free to drop me line in the comment section below. If you enjoy Jamaican at Heart, please subscribe to our email newsletter so I can touch base upon occasion. Please Pin, Post or Tweet these posts to share it with your friends, too! 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Jamaica Vacation: 10 Things to Pack

Jamerican — Wed, 16 May 2018 22:29:34 +0000

What do you need to pack for your vacation in Jamaica? Anyone who travels knows that you have to pack differently for each location. What can be useful in one country, for example, is a waste in another. Time spent searching for necessities is vacation time that is lost. It can often cost you a pretty penny to boot. Let’s make certain that doesn’t happen on your trip to Jamaica and help you put the true necessities on your packing list. I’ll start with a little story from personal experience. The first time we went to Jamaica we traveled with my brother-in-law and his wife in February, the deepest part of winter where we live. At home in New Hampshire, the ground was covered in snow, the earth was frozen solid and the plants slept. Obviously, we realized that we would be going to a sunny place. I mean, that WAS the point, right? In our minds, “sunny” meant warmth, sunshine and a chance to thaw out. We didn’t really think much beyond that. So, we packed our summer clothes. This was not an easy task because we needed a few items, like mens shorts, and discovered it was hard to find summer clothing in the dead of New Hampshire winter. Into the bag went swimsuits, flip-flops, sunscreen and a few nice outfits for the fancier restaurants in our all-inclusive. I also stupidly packed a hairdryer, flattening iron, high heels and some other useless items. No matter how much time I invested in my hair, it went wild when I hit the humidity. High heels aren’t great foot wear in a sandy area. All of those items merely took up suitcase space. By the first evening, I discovered that even the “cool” month of February was very hot. I could not wear some of the blouses I brought because they were made of heat-trapping nylon. In fact, about the only thing that felt good to me was 100% cotton clothing. While they may have been wrinkle free and beautiful, I MELTED within minutes of putting nylon shirts or dresses on. Like, I seriously thought I was going to rip them from my body to let my skin breathe. Not a nice feeling. Maybe you can wear synthetic fabrics in extreme heat but I discovered that I cannot. One of our biggest mistakes was not taking into account the fact that the plants would be in full-bloom. 1. Allergy medications Yes, we saw the pictures of gardens and flowers, but, when the earth is frozen beneath your feet, allergies are the last thing on your mind. So, a chunk of our first day was spent taking a taxi into town while my husband laid in bed, barely able to breathe with pollen allergies. Not only did it waste a great deal of our brief vacation, but the resort “set us up” with a taxi driver who charged us $20/person US to make the three-minute drive. If you’ve read my post, 6 Ways to Get Around Jamaica, you’ll know what a complete ripoff this was. I blush now to think of our naivety, but we just didn’t know. Long story short, do NOT forget to pack allergy medicines, even if you don’t normally suffer. Traveling to different countries means exposure to things your body may have never dealt with before. You never know what you might suddenly “discover” you react to. If you are going out to see waterfalls, you won’t want to forget these fashion statements. 2. Water shoes Yes, I know. Who wears water shoes? In my mind, they are reserved for people who wear ear muffs in May, lest a little cool breeze give them an earache. A vacation in Jamaica is all about walking barefoot on the beach, wearing flip-flops and being close to the earth, right? Well, if you want to go to any of the attractions like the beautiful YS Falls, the busy Dunns River Falls or the idyllic Mayfield Falls, you need water shoes. Although sometimes they are merely “highly recommended,” most places practically shove those dorky shoes on your feet…for a rental fee, of course. I don’t know about you, but nothing gives me the heebee geebee’s like wearing shoes that someone else’s warm, soggy feet have been in. Add to that the tropical heat and humidity, where nothing EVER completely dries, and they become a veritable smorgasbord of germiness. Yuck, times ten. Take your own. Some of these destinations really will tear up your tootsies without protection. Will your sun-starved skin sizzle like a piece of bacon? 3. Sea-safe sunscreen Okay, so I’m a redhead by birth (now a, ahem, “blonde,” the redhead version of gray) and my skin is usually lily-white. In the winter months? I look like I’ve just gotten off a submarine that has been down under for 6 months straight. It’s a ghastly sight. In fact, before that maiden trip to Jamaica, I actually got a spray tan…that faded each day. Blessed with much more melanin me, I swear, my husband can get tan under a 60 watt light bulb. He left after 5 days with lovely brown skin. I was probably the only person in the history of Jamaica to leave more pale than I was upon arrival. But I digress. Do take a good sunscreen but PLEASE choose one that is safe for the coral reefs. You can read about why Hawaii has actually banned them in this NY Times article. There are many more nature-loving choices now, like the ones pictured in these links. (Just click on the photo.) They will protect you and the sea-life, a win-win. And, by the way, take PLENTY of sunscreen. If you run out, regular old spray sunscreen is about $20 US per bottle. Seems a country of melanin rich inhabitants doesn’t really need it so it’s seen as a luxury item. Plus, the resorts know you’ll die without it…supply and demand, baby. Have you ever walked a mile in “cruel shoes?” 4. Proper foot wear No, I’m not saying you have to forsake all style and go out and buy grandma-like Hush Puppy walking shoes. What I AM saying is that we, women at least, tend to think those strappy sandals we got on clearance last fall will be just perfect for the walk to town. This is not the time to sacrifice your feet. Don’t ask me how I know. By the way, if you ignore my advice, get blisters and walk into a shop asking to buy bandaids, chances are they will ask you how many you want. It’s common custom in Jamaica for small shops to buy packaged items like pencils, razor blades, rolling papers, and even bandaids and then sell them by the piece. Unless you plan to never leave the resort, take some well broken-in sneakers or other comfortable walking shoes. Hiking around in the Blue Mountains or perusing the little shops is no fun if you wind up hobbling the next day. Let me tell you, sea water in open blisters sucks. Again, don’t ask me how I know. If you choose carefully, your water shoes can double as comfy walking shoes. Jamaica is called the “land of wood and water” for a reason. 5. Waterproof camera, camera case and/or dry sack Hello. You are going to an island, which, by definition, is a piece of land completely surrounded by water. Not only are you going to be surrounded by water, but, chances are, you will be carrying around wet towels, catching a raindrop or two and tossing bottles of water into your bag. Why risk it? Whether you plan to go snorkeling, scuba diving or just sit on the beach, water is everywhere in Jamaica. I’m not saying you have to go out and buy a waterproof Go Pro, but at least protect your camera, and, for that matter, your phone and other valuables. This is especially true if you plan to take a boat ride out to the Pelican Bar, a trip I highly recommend and that you can read about here. Having a dry sack like this one is the only thing that has saved my valuables from ruin. Recently, I snatched a beach bag out of the water when a woman dropped it while climbing out of the boat and onto the steps of the Pelican Bar. Luckily, it floated briefly…with her phone sitting on top of her towels. Crap happens. You want to look beautiful for those vacation photos, right? 6. Shampoo and conditioner You will likely shower multiple times per day. Sea water may give a few lucky women gorgeous “beach hair,” but most of us look more like damp mops as it dries. Make certain that you take plenty of shampoo and conditioner. Although you may find replacements in stores, it’s unlikely that you will find the brands you are used to. If you do manage to hunt them down, you may have to harvest a kidney to pay for them. Hopefully, you took my advice about the dry sack and haven’t ruined your camera so you can get great photos to show off your shiny locks. Nobody takes a vacation in Jamaica without SOMEBODY pointing out safety concerns. 7. Door alarms Most areas of Jamaica are as safe as anywhere else in the world…okay, at present time, that’s not saying a whole lot. I wrote “Let’s Talk About Crime in Jamaica” a few months ago, dedicated to explaining the ins and outs of personal safety in Jamaica. But, better safe than sorry, right? Perhaps it’s because I watch too many murder mysteries, but I get creeped out when I’m alone in a hotel room at night. It doesn’t matter where I am, my mind runs away with me. My solution was to buy these light weight, simple door alarms. Battery operated and easy to set up, I just place them next to the doors. The alarm that goes off if the door is opened against them is VERY loud and likely to deter an intruder. It will also nearly give you a heart attack if you forget to remove the battery and accidentally set them off in your bag. Keep in mind, stun guns, pepper spray and mace are illegal in Jamaica. (So are camouflaged clothes, by the way.) Better to simply avoid dangerous scenarios or scare thieves off than to try to defend yourself. Alarms come in styles that hang on the door, wedge against the door and many other variations. I take them everywhere. What’s in YOUR wallet? 8. Cash versus credit cards versus debit cards First of all, other than your resort or possibly a rental car company, very few places in Jamaica accept credit cards. Unless you are planning to take out cash advances, they are really pretty useless. Bring it with you to pay “the big bill” but leave it locked in your safe. Most Jamaican establishments will happily take foreign bills, especially American cash…at a not so favorable exchange rate. Trust me, they see you coming and pray that you don’t have Jamaican currency. Carrying cash comes with its own security issues and is one of the big reasons why all-inclusive resorts are so popular. But even within a resort, you need a little cash. How do you know how much or what currency to bring? I used to carry in a wad of American currency and then go to a “cambio,” bank or money exchange stall to get Jamaican dollars. The bank experience is one akin to watching paint dry, taking forever, so I now avoid that method as all cost. I always feel like the “cambios” and money exchange stalls are in spots that make me nervous as soon as I walk out. It’s like I’ve painted a target on my back or am carrying a sign that says “Rob me now. I am carrying cash.” Not my favorite feeling. So what do I do? Well, I discovered after MANY...

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5 Expat Re-entry Tips

Jamerican — Sat, 12 May 2018 17:12:39 +0000

I think we can all admit that coming “home,” whether from a great travel vacation or a long-term expat assignment in another country has its pros and cons, right? We’ve invested ourselves in a fresh place, new people and, often, a totally different mindset for some period of time. As happy as we may be to be back on familiar soil, it can be hard to switch gears. Let’s look at a few ways that make re-entry a little easier. Maybe your entire gang comes to greet you at the airport, arms waving, tears flowing and banners flying. They haven’t seen you and, perhaps, your kids in ages. It’s an exciting moment that many expats look forward to. Perhaps you are more like me and your family is so used to the expat routine that they just pick you up at the curb with a quick hug and no fan-fair at all. Or maybe you hop in an Uber or taxi, arriving with nobody even knowing. For me, there’s always a level of letdown associated with going back to my country of origin, no matter how many great people are there waiting for me. In my chosen expat country, Jamaica, as well as many others that I’ve traveled in for extended periods, it’s not hard to make friends. I get attached to people easily and miss them when I leave them behind. Having come and gone a LOT over the last five years, I’ve realized that there are things I can do to make re-entry easier on myself and those around me. The following are a few things I’ve come up with that help me out. Step 1. Figure out what makes life easiest for YOU upon re-entry and ask that people stick to your plan. If coming home to parties and huge crowds makes the transition easier, party on! Drop your bags and hit those gatherings. Catch up on everything you missed for the year or two you were gone. See your friends, tell your stories and reconnect. But maybe you’re the expat who finds the letdown after the hoopla feels overwhelming. Much like it the day after your long dreamed of wedding, retirement day or college graduation, coming home can feel a bit empty. For some returnees, slipping back into town quietly is more comfortable. Spending a day or two resting, getting over jet-lag and simply wrapping their heads around the vastly different world they’ve awakened in is necessary. For these expats, being able to call friends, make lunch dates and get back into the swing of things at their own pace keeps them balanced. If they are back for good, there are so many details to deal with that fitting everything in can take a great deal of energy. If only back for a short visit, the expectations are placed upon them to see everyone and everything while back. This brings us to the next step, limits. Step 2. Set limits on how you will spend your time before you even fly home. I find that whether it’s a relationship, a job, or a vacation, it often flies or dies based on “expectations.” Our expectation to “see everyone” when reality dictates time to see only a few people, sets us (and them) up for feeling like we missed out. Let people know ahead of time that your sabbatical is brief or, conversely, that you are back for good and look forward to making plans for ample time to eventually reconnect. If people get the mental picture ahead of time, there might be less friction when the time arrives. Maybe Auntie Sue out in Kalamazoo won’t flip her wig when you don’t make it out to see her while you are back for a week or two and staying in California. Planning ahead can also allow you to harness the power of your connections back home. Step 3. Don’t be afraid to tap into local connections. If people have offered assistance or are dying to spend time with you, make it work to your advantage. Are you heading home because your house finally sold? Have people over for a packing party and cleanup crew. Going home because your contract has run out and you have no job to go back to? Put out your feelers with your friends and colleagues back home in advance. Maybe you’ll have a job waiting. Are you moving back for good, shipping a household worth of goods back? Pull the family and friends together to help unpack and put things away. It may take you months to FIND everything but at least the burden of emptying all of those boxes will be lifted. Step 4. TAKE YOUR TIME and be kind to yourself. If you are going from an area of relative poverty to “the land of plenty,” take your time getting out and about. The expat life can be so many different experiences. My expat time is spent living in very rural Jamaica, a relatively poor, underdeveloped area. Running to “get a few things” means waiting for and taking a taxi to town. Going from store to store to find all of the items I need because nobody carries batteries AND wood glue, for example. When I’ve finally made my purchases, I must find a new taxi for the return trip and wait for the driver to decide he has enough people in the car to make it worth the drive. This might mean only 2 minutes or 30 minutes or more, sitting in the hot car. Finally home, I’m often sweaty, hot and too tired to do much else. You might think that coming back to the land of plenty would cause me to jump up and down for joy, right? In some ways, it does. I DO enjoy being able to hop in my own car, at my leisure, and go where I want to go. It’s great being able to hit one or two stores and find everything I want, and more. And, yes, I appreciate the relative ease of life in the USA. But I have to admit that sometimes I get frustrated and angry. I see the rows and rows of crap for sale and the people pushing carts of said crap, and I feel upset at the waste. Its hard not to think about how many Jamaican school books could be bought with the money spent here on junk food alone. At times, I simply get overwhelmed at the choices in the typical American store. In Jamaica, for example, if I want oatmeal, I have two choices. I can get instant oatmeal or old-fashioned oatmeal. In the USA, I might have three different brands in each of those styles as well as organic, stone cut, “gluten-free” and multiple flavors. My brain gets tired trying to decipher it all, even though I’m thankful to have the options. Step 5. Be thankful for what you have here, what you had there and learn to let go. They say the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence but we all know that’s just not true. When I’m in Jamaica and I get aggravated with the SLOOOOW pace of life, I remember how crazy my last ten years were in the States. I had kids running in all directions between sports, clubs, jobs and friends. Meanwhile, my husband was working 60 hours per week and then joining in on the 60 hours per week I was putting in on our goat farm and cheese business. Thinking back to those days makes me SO thankful for my Jamaican friends who have the time and MAKE the time to stand and chat with me. Even the downtime, waiting for taxis or waiting forever for meals at a restaurant forces me to really look around and enjoy the beauty of Jamaica. When I’m in the States, I focus on how quickly I can get around and accomplish tasks. I’m thankful for great doctors and the conveniences that surround me. I look forward to seeing my children, grandchildren and my dear friends, even though I leave behind many close friends who feel like family in Jamaica. I feel so blessed to have such a wide circle of loving people to depend on. In the end, our entry and re-entry all boils down to our own attitudes about it. Anything that we approach with dread, will likely be dreadful. If we predetermine our own expectations and those of the people we are dealing with, things will likely go a lot more smoothly. Communication is vital. Travel and integrating into other cultures, whether for the short-term or long-term, is such a life altering, incredible experience. While expat life certainly has negatives as well as positives, I wish everyone could experience it. I have to believe that our world would be a better place if only we knew how similar we all are. I’d love to hear your tips for making a smooth expat re-entry experience. Please drop me a line in the comments at the bottom of the page!

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6 Ways Life In Jamaica Has Changed Me

Jamerican — Sat, 05 May 2018 04:21:52 +0000

I sat on the beach the other evening, watching a gorgeous sunset and evaluating my life. I thought back to my early days in Jamaica and realized that I’ve changed in so many ways since then. The way I think, act and even live has evolved since I stopped thrashing against the flow. I’ve joined the rhythm of life in Jamaica and it feels good. One of the biggest changes is that I feel healthy! Coming here to escape our cold, dark, damp New Hampshire winters has relieved most of my joint pain. The doctors try to tell me that sunshine and heat trigger autoimmune diseases like my lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. I spent many years avoiding the sun and guess what? I ended up sick, miserable and severely vitamin D deficient. I wrote more about these health benefits in this post, Jamaica, for Your Health. Since I started spending time in Jamaica, my autoimmune issues have all but gone into remission. I’m not currently on any medications to treat any of them. I have no swelling, no pain, no hot joints or fatigue. I really feel amazing and am able to exercise to the tune of walking 6 or 7 miles per day, swimming for a chunk of time, and biking. I’m certain that part of this good health comes from the changes in my diet. Although the typical Jamaican diet is full of starches, carbs and meats, it’s not hard to break away from that if you try. If you give up eating out in the cook shops or at least leave out the side dishes, you can eat a healthy diet. Fruit is literally dripping from trees all over town. Depending on the season, mangos, oranges, lemons, bananas, melons, sour sop and plantains are easy to find. Even if you don’t have them in your yard, all you have to do is step through your gate. Cars and vans come right to you, full of fresh produce. It couldn’t be easier. Most areas of Jamaica also have farmers growing lettuce, peas, carrots Irish potatoes, cabbage, herbs, tomatoes and anything else you could want. Huge fields abound in scallions, yams, and other roots crops ALL YEAR LONG! You can’t lose! Heart healthy fish is a staple of Jamaican diet. Often served steamed or roasted, it is usually stuffed with sliced veggies and maybe a surprisingly hot scotch bonnet pepper or two. Let me tell you, those peppers can really sneak up on you! I’m told they will cure whatever ails you as they “flush through” your system. Ahem. That’s exactly what I’d like to avoid, thank you very much! Although life everywhere has its own stressors, I’ve come to realize that we have choices in how stressed we get. Yes, there are a few Jamaican drama queens who love to spice life up with hearty gossip and wild stories. (For instance, I just learned this morning that I’m apparently divorcing my husband…as the story goes.) At times, they push my stress buttons and my blood pressure rises. Where this could have really undone me in days gone by, I now just think it through and then dismiss it. While many Jamaicans may report feeling stressed about school fees, fuel prices or other life expenses, they still spend a lot of time sitting around laughing. I’ve only met one Jamaican woman who is eternally scowling. No matter how I joke around with her, chit-chat or smile, she just won’t crack! In general, I feel like most Jamaicans go with the flow. There seems to be this unspoken state of mind that says “Every little thing is gonna be alright.” They express feelings of expectation about solutions rather than fretting and worrying, like we talked about in “Just Roll With It.” Sometimes, the best gifts come in the most tattered and torn packages. In my previous post, Common Ground, I talked about Angus, the man I think of as my Jamaican father. He could not be more torn and tattered, nearly deaf and partly blind, even missing all of his teeth, but he runs DEEP. I’ve had some of the most informative conversations of my life with him. Angus tells it like it is, whether you want the brutal truth or not. He amazed me today when I went over for our afternoon chat. He started questioning me about the new surveillance cameras. Angus had somehow noticed that the little light was coming on when he walked by one camera but not the other. We are talking about a bulb the size of the head of a pin, hung 10 feet up from the ground, but he could somehow see it. I explained to him that I had to turn off one camera until a branch was cleared away. It kept setting off the motion detector. He said, “So once you turn it back on, you’ll be able to see ME, all the way from foreign?” I said, yes, and told him he needs to face the camera and wave at me every morning so I don’t miss him so much when I’m back in the states. His face lit up like a Christmas tree. With me through thick and thin, I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I had judged his book by it’s cover. His wisdom, kindness and jokes have carried me through when others failed me. The most unexpected change I’ve seen in myself is that I can live with so much less “stuff” than I ever believed I could. In the beginning of setting up the house down here, I brought down suitcases full of “necessary” items. Decent sheets, towels, good pans, useful kitchen tools, etc took up my allotted suitcase weight to where I had to skimp on clothing brought down. As time went by, I was invited into more and more Jamaican homes. I realized that I could run a restaurant with the array of kitchen gear I brought down. My friends kitchens were so much more limited. Clothing, bedding, furniture, or whatever, I realized that I was used to abundance and even overkill. I now find myself picking up items when I’m out shopping but then talking myself out of buying them. I find my life feeling way too cluttered and complicated when I’m back in the states. I’m embracing the more simple life and finding that it, too, lowers my stress levels. The more stuff we have, the more we have to worry about it. Who needs that? I’d have to say that the most enjoyable change I’ve experienced is discovering how easy it is to make someones day brighter. Anyone who has ever been to Jamaica will tell you that Jamaicans are experts at staring right in your eyes, never breaking contact. I now use that to my advantage, staring back while exchanging kind words. I have made some great friends this way. Now, people hanging out around town aren’t just looking AT me, they are looking out FOR me. As much as I’d like to say that I started this trend, I must admit that I was the receiver of this positive input right from the beginning. I’ve now learned that if I smile and say a little nicety to a friend or stranger walking by, they smile, reciprocate and just walk lighter. That’s a great feeling! While I’ll admit that I do get frustrated with the somewhat archaic ways some things are done here, I do believe that, overall, it’s a better way of life. I’m enjoying being free of joint pain and migraines. Even my weight is easy to maintain. Stress levels are lower than ever and I’ve made some amazing friends. Do you think Jamaica would help you live a better life? Tell me what has had positive impact in YOUR life in the comment section below! We would love to stay in touch so please go to any of the subscribe boxes and sign up to be on our current e-newsletter list. You won’t get loaded up or harassed. No spam, ever. Feel free to share this post on Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter via our easy share buttons. If posting to Pinterest, you’ll find some pins hidden when you hit the “pin it” button!

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Common Ground: My Jamaican Father, Angus

Jamerican — Sat, 28 Apr 2018 03:24:45 +0000

I spent most of my childhood moving around. We lived 12 places by the time I was 13 years old. Starting in a new school every year, I learned to size people up and make friends quickly. Making friends requires drawing on aspects of life that we all share…common ground. At times, the similarities are obvious but sometimes we have to dig really deep to find them. Of all of the places I’ve been and all of the people I’ve met, I think that Jamaicans are the most interesting, complex people groups on earth. Like peeling an onion, you strip away layer after layer, thinking you’ve finally gotten into the inner core. Finding the common ground can be tricky. Just as you relax, believing you’ve seen deep “inside,” your eyes tear up and something new emerges. I remember a scene in a movie where the main character talks about interviewing women in some war-torn country. She asks them about what their lives are like and what most concerns them. Looking at their world from the outside, she expects to hear stories of lost lives, fearfulness about the future and other war related subjects. Instead, she is shocked to sit down with these women and have them express the sadness they feel because their husband is cheating on them or their boyfriend won’t commit and marry them. Basically, they are worried about the exact same issues as their American counterparts. It strikes her that people are pretty much the same all around the world. Take my friend, Mr Rupert Angus, for example. I first noticed “Angus,” as he is called, because he drove a scooter past my house every morning at a certain time. Always dressed in clean but worn clothing, he wore bright white sneakers that stood out against his drab attire. My daughter and I referred to him as “Scooter man” for a month or so. I really had no idea who he was or where he was headed but I admired his drive to “do something” everyday. He was obviously a man beyond retirement age and yet he seemed to have a sense of purpose. His work ethic stood out against the backdrop of men in my town who love to stand around and do nothing. Drinking rum and smoking pot for hours on end, you have to wonder how these Jamaican men survive, as I describe in this post. As time went by, I realized that he was selling souvenirs on a corner just down the road from us. We passed him multiple times a day, coming and going from the beach, the shops or meals out. Every time we walked past, he would call out to us. “Hey there, Princesses. Come and chat for a while.” Knowing that we had already purchased more than our fair share of trinkets over the years, we just smiled, waved and walked on by. But we had to admit that he was a cute little old man with a twinkle in his greying eyes. Then one evening, as we were walking downtown in the dark, we came upon Angus on the road. His scooter, laden with his crafts, wouldn’t start and he was trying to push it home. We offered to try to help him, but he said there wasn’t anything we could really do. As we walked away, my heart broke to see this sweet little man struggling. A few weeks later, he saw me in the yard and recognized me. We chatted for a few minutes about his scooter being fixed and, before I knew it, he was my new, toothless grinning friend. It was several weeks later that I found out that he came to talk to me that day because he “had heard” that I was single!!! (Which I wasn’t.) I’m not surprised that he had gotten the story about me wrong because he is nearly deaf. Back then, terrible at guessing ages for Jamaicans, I figured that he was in his late 60’s or early 70’s. He later told me that he thought I was about 40. In his mind, we would have been the perfect match! Oh my goodness. It was only recently that I discovered he is actually 80!!! So, yeah, a 40-year-old is just perfect for an 80-year-old. At least that’s what many Jamaican men believe. ANYWAY, by this time, my older friend and landlord, Julie, was here visiting, so I jokingly told him I’d set him up with her. We all got a good laugh out of all of it and he sort of became a fixture at my house. Often stopping by for coffee or hanging out to play dominos in the evening, we were quite the trio. As it turned out, Angus is a devout Christian and when he discovered I wasn’t “wife material,” he began trying to convert me. The funny part was that I share this common ground of his faith but he just wouldn’t believe me! I have to give him credit, though. The man certainly knows his Bible inside out, even if we disagree on his rather chauvinistic interpretation. Always offering to help out, he would occasionally give me a lift to the store on his scooter. His face would be beaming as he rode through town with this “young chick” (me) on the back of his bike. All of the guys in town would shout, “Go Angus!” I was just happy not having to carry my heavy jugs of bottled water back up the hill. About that time, having Angus come by for coffee had grown into having breakfast with us. Eventually, he started coming back for dinner in the evening, followed by rousing games of dominos. In a particularly rainy, stormy stretch of days, we decided to let him stay at the house one night rather than driving home in the dark. I remember that night as he settled in on a spare bed in the living room. Julie and I laughed when she said she felt safer having a man in the house. I pointed out to her that Angus so deaf that he would never hear an intruder! But as the lights went out, Angus started to pray. He prayed thankfulness for us, for blessings on his family, for health and wisdom.You name it, he asked God for it in the most earnest tone I’ve ever heard prayed. I felt awkward listening but it was impossible not to hear him as he called out to God. Judging by his volume, he apparently thought God was deaf as well! It was a very comforting thing to hear. When it came close to the end of my stay, I began thinking about who would watch my dog. Finding someone who actually likes dogs and knows how to care compassionately for them isn’t easy. By this time, Angus was practically living at my house. He moved into a small shack behind my house. Offering to care for my dog and watch over the property for me when I went back to the States, he vowed to take his duties very seriously. Angus repeatedly assured me that nothing would go amiss on his watch, clarifying the plan with me. He would say, “Only one key for the property will be needed. Nobody gets in without me and the one key.” One of the rather rare Jamaicans who actually love animals, I knew that my dog, Marley, would be well cared for. This was important because I knew Angus would never hear an intruder in the yard so it was really up to the dog! When I returned a few months later, my dog, Marley, was in great shape. Nobody had bothered anything in the yard and all seemed under control. Angus was beaming from ear to ear with pride when he saw that I was pleased. I felt really badly at first, knowing that he was sleeping in the rickety plywood building behind my house. But he recently explained to me that in “my shack” he doesn’t get wet, has electricity, has access to an outdoor shower and a toilet. He insists that this is better than his previous living situation. These days, although Angus sort of “works for me,” he is really more like my adopted Jamaican father. I try to check in with him when I’m coming and going. He likes to know that I’m safe and sound, especially after dark. I didn’t think that he really offered me much peace of mind or protection. Recently, he took off for a few days to go see his sons. Suddenly, by myself on the property, I felt rather exposed and alone! Angus does actually have four children of his own. Two sons live in Alligator Pond and two daughters live in Spanish Town. He talks to his sons nearly every day and tells me that they want him to come live with them. Angus refuses because he says they want him to just sit with his hands folded all day and that’s no fun. Lest you think it’s all roses and sunshine, Angus DOES “get vexed” with me. Once, he vehemently explained to me that “the Bible teaches” that it’s a sin for a woman to dye her hair or wear makeup. Heaven forbid one gets a tattoo…which I already have. As we reached a boiling over point, I countered with the fact that it must be a sin for him to wear false teeth as well. We both laughed and gave up. As many people here will tell you, it takes a certain sort of driven personality to make it here. I guess it stands to reason that a lot of the people I meet have strong opinions and beliefs. In fact, I wrote an entire post about the misfits like me that settle here. A few times, he has gotten a bit peeved with me for not letting him know I was leaving or for coming in and not telling him I’m home. He worries about me. Additionally, if I don’t spend adequate time with him over the space of a day or two, he will say, “Why yuh toss mi aside?” Ha ha. Yes, he can be a little high maintenance when I’m busy. But he is always telling me what a blessing I am when I bring him a cold drink or fix him a meal. A day or two before to go back to the States for a while, we sat chatting outside his little stand. He started tearing up, telling me how much he was going to miss me. Then he said, “Yuh know, yuh mi best fren in dis town.” Yep, then I was crying. I’m so glad we took the time to find our common ground and each other. To hear more about my adventures in Jamaica, fill out the subscriber form below now. Additionally, if you enjoy Pinterest, click on the Pinterest tab along the side of the post and you’ll get to see a few super special hidden pins that you can use. Disclosure: We may be paid a small commission for purchases made from any links in this post. It will not cause any changes for you. We only offer links to products and services that we’ve personally tried and loved.

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Jamaican Patois: Language, Dialect, Slang?

Jamerican — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 23:52:33 +0000

Fearful of not being understood, many Americans seek out vacation and retirement options where English is the official language.This leaves many at a loss when they vacation in Jamaica and encounter Patois, the “unofficial” language. Misunderstanding Patois can easily send them off in a taxi to the wrong city or cause any number of mishaps. Let’s look at a few key facts about this interesting tongue and avoid disaster. Visitors arrive in Jamaica with the understanding that it’s an “English speaking country.” As you disembark and enter the airport, you are greeted by smiling airport agents. Speaking perfect English, they direct you to polite, if a bit intimidating, immigration officers. These officer pose questions in very proper, often dramatically enunciated, English. Bags are collected and everyone makes their way through customs and enters the lobby of the airport. Being understood and understanding those around you is no problem. If you are being transferred directly to a big resort, the chances are that anyone you come in contact with that day will be quite easy to communicate with. However, new frontiers await just outside your gate. A day or two later, as you decide to wander up the beach or walk to the shops, you begin to wonder if you were transported into a non-English speaking country while you slept. Although you pick up on some English sounding words, you would swear that they are speaking another language altogether. The truth is, in my opinion, they ARE speaking what should be a legitimate “language” when using Patois but it is still sidelined as merely slang or a dialect. Every single person that I’ve brought to the island, as well as many that I hear when out at various attractions, asks, “What language are they speaking?” Maybe you’ve been here and had the same experience. I know that I certainly questioned it on my first visit and I still do at some points! What you hear Jamaicans speaking is what is considered to be a dialect called “Patois” or “Patwah.” I’m told that it’s a combination of English, African and French (some would say more of a French creole.) I can vouch for the fact that wherever it came from, it’s a booger to learn or even understand at times. If you really listen, it often sounds like broken English with really poor grammar. “Mi” (me) is used in place of “I.” For instance, “Mi a go to duh stoh” is translated as “I’m going to the store.” If speaking about someone else, “him” will be substituted for “he,” as in “Him a go to duh stoh.” Part of the issue is that, like many native speakers, whether it’s someone from New York City, Spain or Ireland, they speak in their native language REALLY rapidly. I’m talking like a machine gun or a firehose on full throttle. Whew. When a Jamaican gets going in Patois, it honestly sounds like everything is blurred together into one very long word, without a breath being taken. Not only do they speak at the speed of light, but Jamaicans also use a LOT of old sayings and phrases, passed down for many generations. Many of these sayings, even when broken down into English, leave you scratching your head in confusion. Take this gem that I heard a while back. “Mi a come fi drink dee milk, nah fi buy dee cow.” Huh? I had to ask. I was told that it literally translates as “I came to drink the milk, not to buy the cow.” How would one use this? It means that I’m in a hurry and don’t want your sales pitch. Just give me what I came for. Without someone to translate these little phrases, often you remain lost. Your Jamaican neighbors will be laughing hysterically while you sit there wondering if they are talking ABOUT you or TO you. I consider myself to have a pretty good “ear” for languages. I lived in Italy for a year and Germany, as well as traveling all over Europe. Being able to understand enough bits and pieces of each language, I managed my life quite well. Cracking the code of patois has been different. I think a big part of it is that the Italians or Germans KNOW that they are speaking a different language. Jamaicans tend to believe that they are speaking the same “English” as I am. When I become obviously confused, Jamaicans rarely change their choice of wording or even speak more slowly. No, they just keep repeating themselves, often getting louder. Mind you, they were all taught standard English in school, but, for many, that’s the only place they used it. Patois is generally accepted as the language spoken at home and on the streets. I finally figured out…on about my 15th trip here…that Jamaicans don’t always understand ME either! They get used to always being asked certain questions by foreigners, especially in tourist heavy areas. Any question outside of that realm can stump them and cause them to just say, “Yes” or “No” randomly. Jamaicans LOVE to have the answer so they will rarely just walk away without a reply, right or wrong. Take, for example, the day I stood outside my gate waiting for a taxi to Black River. I was still figuring out the transportation system in my small town, as you can read about in my post about finding your way around here. As you will learn in that post, there are marked taxis and unmarked taxis. It takes time to know the drivers and pick out the unmarked taxis from random cars passing by. There was a woman standing at my gate, obviously waiting for a taxi as well. I asked if she was going to Black River. She replied, “huh?” I repeated my question and she said, “yes.” I was tired and not really paying attention as a taxi pulled up and she hopped in. I followed suit, assuming we were both headed to Black River. It wasn’t until we were headed up the mountain side, in the opposite direction from Black River, that I realized she was, in fact, headed to Southfield. How in the world she thought I was asking about going to Southfield versus Black River baffled me. Luckily, they have shops in Southfield too, so I just went with it. At other times, Jamaicans understand me but their terminology, based on their British-based educational background, gets in the way. Jamaicans frequently use British terms for items. French fries may be “chips.” Chips may be “crisps.” The trash can might be called “the dust bin.” Having a “bank holiday” means school is shut down, most stores are closed AND the taxis don’t run. I figured out that last one after waiting about an hour to catch a taxi to town one day. The little crowd that hangs out at the shop across the street from my house enjoyed a good laugh. Finally, feeling guilty, they sent someone over to ask where I was headed. He informed me that even if I could catch a taxi, town was shut down for the bank holiday. Patois has been the cause of a few very embarrassing moments for me. Take this, for example. Back in the days of my first few trips to Jamaica, I was alone in the tourist town of Negril and went out for an evening walk. The smell of grilling jerk chicken was floating through the air. The aroma was to die for. I decided to treat myself to some chicken from one of the many roadside stands. I told the man that I’d like a small portion of chicken. He happily set about pulling it from the grill. Watching intently, I was mesmerized by his methods and how he never touched any food with his hands…thank goodness. For whatever reason, they always take a meat cleaver and chop up cooked meats, bones and all, so he did that. As he was wrapping the chopped chicken and big piece of white bread in foil, he said, “Ya need fux?” Huh? “A fux.” Huh? I repeated back “A box? A fox? Huh?” This odd exchange continued back and forth, both of us wanting to act like we understood but fearing we might say “yes” to the wrong thing. Finally, the man started making the motion of eating as if from a plate and it hit me. He was asking if I needed a FORK! Thankfully, he was good mime or might not have ever figured it out. I felt so silly afterwards. Often its purely the accent that throws me off. Sometimes, it’s the way they pronounce a word that stumps me. “Foil” is “file” and “oil” is “isle” here. Words and phrases are shortened frequently as well. “Upon” becomes “pon.” “Do it” becomes “Dweet.” “Ya reach?” means “Have you arrived or gotten to where you were headed?” To me, this is more in the arena of being slang. The most famous ones, of course, are “Wah gwaan?” meaning “What’s going on?” and “Soon come.” Soon come can mean “I’ll be there shortly” or “I’ll be there in a few days.” “Soon” is a very relative term in Jamaican culture, where a sense of time is missing. You can read more about that in my post “How Slow Can You Go?” Then there are the words that have no rhyme or reason, like using “fi” (pronounced as “fee”) that replaces “for,” as in “Wah ya bring fi mi?” (“What did you bring for me.”) It also replaces “if.” “FI mi a go to da stoh, mi geet eet fi ya.” (If I go to the store, I will get it for you.”) At times, I’m not certain if it’s me or them that’s messing up the communication. Just a few months ago, my lawn was getting really overgrown. I started asking around for someone who could cut my lawn with what we Americans call a “weed whacker” or “string trimmer.” Few Jamaicans where I live actually own lawn mowers so this is the more traditional way to cut lawns here. Every time I saw a friend or went into the local shops, I would ask if they knew of someone who could come cut my yard. They would reply, “Oh, you need a wahkah?” Thinking they were saying “walker,” I assumed they meant a walk behind lawnmower. I would say, “No, I have a mower but it’s broken. I just need someone to cut the grass and trim around the bushes, sidewalks, etc.” Once again, they would say, “Yeah, ya need a wahkah.” I would give up, figuring they didn’t understand what I was asking. Time after time, day after day, I kept walking away from these inquiries wondering what was wrong with these people. (Because we know I could never be wrong! Ha ha!) Why couldn’t they understand what I was saying? Where was the disconnect? I see weed whackers all over the place. Why is this so hard to get across? Oh Patois, how crazy you make me! Then one day I was in the small shop that my friend, Linda, runs. Her friend, Willie, was hanging out in the shop. (Jamaicans have mastered the art of “hanging out.” Ha ha.) My grass was now up to my knees and I was getting desperate. I posed my question to Linda. She had always been great at helping me sort things out and find the help I needed for projects. She turned to me and said, “Oh, ya need a wakah.” I wanted to run into the street screaming but I kept my composure and made the motion of someone swinging a weed whacker as I explained that I needed the lawn cut. “You know, a string trimmer? Weed whacker?” Linda turned to Willie and said, “You could wahk her yahd, right?” Then she said, “Yeah, Willie has a weed wahka and he can do it.” Houston, we have lift-off…at last. I have found that...

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